We never really were 'that' close, but close for 'acquaintances' I could say. We would talk about what we did over the weekends and/or what new CD we picked up and liked. That was that, but it was a nice relationship nothing that 'big', but it was something. Whether you want to admit it or not.

I'm still not sure why you're not talking to me. I can't think of one thing that I did aside from being the procrastinator that I always am. I really hate and fail to understand silence. It's killing me that you can just ignore me without any thoughts wondering in the back of your mind. You can just end being friends with someone and it doesn't bother you one bit? Even if we did continue (after this letter) I know that there will be some kind of emptiness. Things just couldn't be like they used to... but I would love them to and I will probably never understand why things just end the way they do. Things are never as simple as I see them. Every time that I have tried to 'repair' a broken relationship it always comes back.. like a slap across the face.

If you wrote me saying "hi, I hate you. die" it would give me some sense of satisfaction, but the last line you said to me had to be the worst. Without any warning at all, you said "and I really don't have all that much to say". That was just a line that I didn't need to hear, but I know you meant it intentionally. You've never told me what I wanted to hear and that was the thing that I most admired about you, you acted out your part in life the wrong way. You spoke for your own good and never said a little white lie to make someone feel better. You wanted me to read your little dig of a goodbye note and then just, "get the picture". I can't understand what you're trying to say to me because there are so many more things that have to be cleared up. There are so many conversations that we should have, there are so many things that I'd love to tell you about, complain to you about, or just talk to a 'friend' about. That friend isn't there anymore, that friend turned into someone different without reason.. without warning.

Why do you just have to be like every other person? Every other person finds a reason for that stale ending and once we've gotten to that point, then that's that. Everything is finished. The Elmer's Glue is all dried up that was intentionally stored away to fix the broken pieces. Fuck you. Fuck your glue. And fuck your silence. I don't want to understand your metaphors and reversed meanings. I want the real thing in simple terms please.

I could drag on and write for hours. I could write 10 different letters all saying the same thing that will reach nowhere farther than my top dresser drawer. It really doesn't matter because you are all the same. And I've finally realized that I can't change any one of you. So here's your final line.. goodbye.

And believe me this isn't the easy way out at all,