I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. When we are together, everything is right with the world. When we are apart nothing can fulfill me. And nothing can make you happy. What should I do? Should I let you go? Would you be happy then? I want to think you will, but you won't. I can see it in your eyes. And the way you touch my face, and gentle brush of your lips on my forehead. I love you. And I want you to be happy. Yet I cannot do the one thing that will satisfy you. I know you want me to tell my father how I feel. That I want him to back off, and let me be. But I cannot. I can't explain it.

So here we are. Unhappy and apart. When we parted just a few minutes ago, I thought my heart would burst from chest it hurt so bad, and pounded so hard. As you drove away I felt as though you were taking a piece of me with you. The only piece that will let me be content. And I could see the pain on your face. That beautiful face. I could stare at it for hours. I love to look at you. I love your eyes and you nose and your lips and your crooked teeth, and your messy hair. I see no fault in your face. And the longer I look upon it, the more I love it. When you hold me in your arms I feel as though the world around us just stops cold. Because none of it matters.

You wanted me to have an answer for you, but there is none. At least, not one that I can offer. You will not be content unless I am with you, but I cannot be with you. And I know that you understand my position, and I just pray to god that you do not become angry at me, because I do not think I could handle looking into your eyes and seeing anger. Or hearing it in your voice. If only there was some simple thing I could do to please you while I am gone. This is going to be the long haul. I will not be home again until after school is out... May. It seems eternities away. I fear I have lost track of this letter. But you will never read it, so I suppose it doesn't matter.

I love you. I love you so much that I cannot describe it properly. It's like someone is standing on my chest, pushing all the air out. Like my skin is on fire and on ice all at once. Like I am weightless and yet stuck to the ground like lead. I feel as though I am being pulled in every direction at once. I can't eat right, or sleep like I should. How long will this last? How long can it last? You asked me these things, and I did not give you an answer, and I still can't. I don't know if this can last, or if I can stand this unhappiness. All I know is that I love you, and I will wait for eternity if that is what it takes.