I don't know how to start this, so I'll just jump in with it. It's taken so long to deal with it, and I don't want to mess it up. I miss you. Do you remember me? I found your web page and I just wanted to see the genius behind it. You told me you were younger than I was, and I was shocked. I could have sworn that you could have been like a big brother to me.

I still remember our first conversation. We used to talk so late at night that we would always say good night every night. I wrote you poetry. You told me jokes. I remember when you sent me emails for every night you'd be gone for three days and told me not to open them until the date. All they said was "good night".

Each time I talked to you, we'd do something stupid. I recall a certain few things. Once, we pretended that we were Boris and Natasha with those ridiculous accents. We wrote up mock web pages for parodies.

We talked on the phone all of the time, disregarding the money that it would cost. I'm in the Midwest and you on the East Coast in a small town. I used to tease you all of the time. Now, I can't. You called me for the first time, one night that I remember correctly. We were on the phone for over four hours that night, talking about everything we could think of. We hooked up things on our computer so we could talk over the Internet with out having to spend money.

I started to get possessive. Yeah, I was getting obsessed. Now, I look back and wish I hadn't said anything to you. I really wished that our "friendship relationship" had never existed, but I know that if I just talked to you again, it would all come back.

I still visit that genius website. It makes me recall memories that I never thought I had. Remember foobar.com? Making fun of the delish people? The Microsoft Free Cell game that would kill you if you lost? Your silly accent? You turned me on to Tori Amos, Belly, and even more importantly, myself.

It hasn't even been a year since we first met. We were only close for four of those months. We stopped talking when you blocked me from ICQ and AIM. You always tried to say that you didn't. I know now the truth. I wish things hadn't turned out as they did. I wish you knew how much I could tell you if you just sent me one message.

I know you're out there and I know it's up to you to talk to me. I know there's nothing left out there that reminds you of me. You're the funniest, sweetest, nicest guy. I'm sorry for how it worked out. Even if you never talk to me again, I know I'll have a chance to know everything about you through your web page. That's enough for me. Enough to know you're still alive - still happy. I feel sick when I think of you sometimes.

I'll always remember you, even if you don't remember me. Can you honestly say than nothing's left? There's something at this end. Even being this far apart, there's still something here.

Love and Respect Always,