Yeah, you seem so happy with him. Smiling, laughing. You guys have sex all the time. You and me are just the best of friends. It's great that you still talk to me. At least you don't hate me, right? It could be worse right? It would be so much easier if I never had to talk to you anymore. You forgot all the words you said to me? I don't know how you could forget. I don't know how you could stop loving me after two years.

I really don't understand. One week we're eating ice cream on my couch. Watching stupid movies and going to the mall. You telling me you love me. You telling me just how much I meant to you. You left me and never looked back. You deceived me and you lied to me. I believed all of your lies. Your excuses for getting home so late. Like why your phone was busy. I was so blinded by your love that I was too blind to see that you were with Mike. How many times did I tell you to just tell me if you didn't like me anymore? I never wanted to be a bother. I never wanted to drag you down. I'm so sorry that I was such an inconvenience on your life.

You took total advantage of my feelings for you. You saved my life, and you knew how vulnerable I was to you. I was so new to the world now. I was so naive. How was I to know that the girl I loved more than life itself would do that to me? How was I supposed to know Irene? Did you think I would notice? Did you think it would just come to me all at once? You knew how I was. It was just too easy for you to hurt me. It was too easy to have sex with Mike, and it was even easier to tell me "oh Jimmy, don't worry. I love you. Stop being so paranoid" whenever I asked questions. I believed your lies. Your answers calmed even the littlest of doubt. I never took a second thought.

Every day I live is because of you. I lived for you Irene. You know how easy it was for you to fuck Mike? It would've been even easier for me to try and hang myself again. You just don't get it. You just don't get it do you. Why would you save someone and then hurt them so much more than you ever helped? You make me sick. Someone like you doesn't deserve anything. I wish I never started talking to you. This cant be much better than dying. I often why I chose you over the latter.

You tell me I'm so sweet. You tell me I'm one of your best friends. And you tell me we can never be together again. You don't understand. I will never love anyone like I love you ever again. I will never love another girl like you. That naive love, that trust, will never be given again. I can't. You have shrouded me with doubt. I will never be able to totally trust a girl again. I hate it so much. Before you screwed me over I was so happy with you. I didn't think anything could bring me down. Now with any other girl I will never be able to completely love her. My wounds may heal but scars are forever. Of course you wouldn't understand, you and Mike are so happy. I'm so great for you.

I never got to fulfill my dream Irene. You remember what it is. Waking up at dawn. And you sleeping soundly beside me. Me watching you sleeping so soundly, so beautifully. So innocent in your sleep. My wonderful angel. You wake up besides Mike and I doubt he even cares about the dawn. He wakes up with you in his arms. My angel. My honey girl. My pumpkin. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen I'm my entire life. My first true, and only complete love.

I know I'm never going to see you again. It makes part of me so sad. In one night you told me you loved me. In one hour you gave me away to the angels. Now their wings fan the heat of your face ill never touch. Your hair I'll never smell. Your little hands I'll never hold. Now I'm just a silhouette down here. I guess it didn't mean that much. I'm just a footnote in your life, but you meant everything to me.

Love, always and forever,

Jimmy