The thought of you has touched me for many months now I find no peace. I haven't slept without dreams of you for months. I started doing drugs again to make the thought of you go away but its hasn't worked.

I want to spend the rest of my life roaming the earth hoping to find one moment of peace. If I could just find one moment of complete inner peace I would give anything for it a peace without drugs and peace I could feel in my soul....I would give my life for that I would sell my soul just to stop this thunderstorm in my head. I have run out of words. Elizabeth and Jane and I wanted to say we love you.

I know I left home before you got a chance to know me and its better that way. I wish that I could find some beautiful word to explain the pain I feel. I went through my reasons to live and I can't find any.

I have become a burden on Dad and I can't go back home and my soul mate has left for another. My feelings can be explained by track number two "I love you" on the Sarah Mclachlan "Surfacing" CD. I don't want to feel this anymore and I understand now it will take dying for me to stop loving you.

I hope time will make it go away but it hasn't so far and its been six months and I still love you as much as I did in the beginning. I wish you well and hope you find success but I also hope the sound of my voice haunts your dreams for as long as I have to carry the heart you broke.

Well I must go back to running from my shadows that's what I do since you left. Its not much fun but can feel myself losing my mind so what else should I do with my time.

Love,

Jill