For 13 years I have been in love with you. Maybe not the love that a boyfriend girlfriend share. None the less, I have loved you unconditionally for 13 years. Now, it seems that our friendship, is fading. We don't talk, we didn't even see each other this year. I know it is hard. You live so far away. We have separate lives, separate thoughts. Maybe that's why it does hurt. I can't understand why you don't want to see me. All the time we spent, all the memories we shared. I thought you understood me. I thought you cared.

I know you will probably never read this, and if you do fine. Maybe you will see how I feel. Maybe you will run. Do you not feel safe around me, now that I don't have a girlfriend? Or was it a game, to string me along when I had one. All the sexual flirtations, all the jokes. The hugs.

I would have never cheated on my girlfriend. But I would like to know what it would be like to maybe have just one kiss. Would that change who we are? Would that change your feelings for me? I don't know. I can say that for 13 years, I considered you a friend. I considered you honest and loyal. Now, I am not sure. We drifted. I plan on visiting your college this year. Whether I see you or not, is up to you. Whether you tell me to come over, and you aren't there. Like you told me some times. Maybe it's pay back, for me saying I would visit and never did. I have reasons, but no excuses. I feel that I am cause of this, and part of this. I just wish, that you could see the love I have for you. I want to hug you one last time, to say goodbye. In a world where my friends have been revolving, and changing, and disappearing, you were constant light in my life. No you are fading. I am moving. No one knows this. I am moving far away. From the pain and desertion that everyone has given me. I just wish I could have given you the only thing I had, my love.

Forever and Always a Friend, and in love,

Josh