So many nights I've laid awake in bed wondering why you did what you did. You left us alone and to fend for ourselves. I wish I knew how you are, and what you are doing, but I can't ask you.

Since you left, things haven't been the same. We've learned to get along pretty well, but we all know something's missing, YOU. It's been almost a year and a half since that dreadful day, and I still miss you as much as I did then.

Kevin is doing great. He's becoming smarter than I am now. I KNOW!!! It seems almost impossible, but he inherited your intelligence. Tasha just started college and says it's hard, but I know she can do it. Mom; well Mom hasn't been the same at all. She has to raise 3 kids on her own. She got a new job this summer. I am doing fine. I finally got a kitten that I've always wanted. It's a little troublemaker though. Mom's threatened to give it away, but I know she won't. Oh, and the dog, well she's as retarded as always. To tell you the truth, I think she misses you too.

I wish I knew why you left. You didn't leave a note or even say a simple good-bye? I remember the last time I saw you. You were sitting in the living room watching TV. I didn't know that that would be the last. I wish it wasn't.

I guess you left because you couldn't take it anymore. Life just got too hard for you to just run away from it all. I know the feeling. I get that way too sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved Tasha and I. We weren't your real children and you never said it. Maybe because no one ever did. In our family, love wasn't a priority. We took it for granted. A few months after you had gone, you came to me in a dream. Whether it was me or you were actually trying to tell me something, I don't know. But all you said to me was, "I love you."

I don't hate you for what you did. I only wonder what we could've done to prevent it from happening. Maybe nothing, but maybe something. And I wonder why we didn't see it coming.

I wish you would be able to see Kevin grow up. I wish he had a father to talk to. You only got to see 11 years of his life. You'll never see him drive, help him with girl problems, or button his tux at his wedding.

I wish you could see how much we really need you here. We all miss you so much and we wish you could've known how much you meant to us and to the world.

I wanted to say that I'm sorry for all the bad things I said while you here still here. I can't take them back, but I didn't mean them. I was angry, and I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you this in person, but I'll have to wait until we meet again, and hopefully that day will come. No matter what you may think, I saw you as a father to me and loved you like one too. I miss you so much.

Love always and forever your stepdaughter,

Heather