1998 has taken a turn for the worse hasn't it my friend? I believe that you are still clueless as to why I refuse to talk to you and I believe that now you just don't care. Heck, I don't care either. But it can't possibly be ignored because I happen to have two classes with you. I've tried not to let it affect me but it is impossible when it seems like you are in my face all the time. I don't like that. To honestly tell you the truth you repulse me. I can not even look you in the face because the mere sight of you really makes me shudder in disgust.

Just the other day I was looking through my drawer when I came upon a picture taken at Preeti's birthday. It's this picture of you, me, and a once close friend of yours. We're grinning like mad lunatics and we seriously look happy, happy together. And I smiled because we really were happy. But what happened? I don't know either. I don't know where things started to fall apart or why I developed the shivers. But I do know that things have changed. I know that our relationship wasn't healthy and I call it a relationship because that was what it was. There were times when I would feel uncomfortable around you, because you made me feel awkward and unworthy. And I foolishly accepted. Well now, with all the hubbub of senior year and college applications I just didn't need that anymore. I didn't need you. I didn't need you calling me manipulative. Behind my back. I didn't need you talking about your life 24/7, never once acknowledging the fact that I had a life too. You didn't respect me. You didn't respect my decisions or who I was. I didn't deserve it all.

Ever since I stopped talking to you it seems as if you have gotten a bit more louder and a big more talkative. Kind of like how you need to fill up your emptiness with hollow chatter. Talking without speaking. And I laugh at that because you talk so much to everyone else but you don't even have the nerve to come up to me and ask me? What happened?? And it's such a shame that I must ask and answer that question for the both of us.

Who are you? Did you lose a slice of innocence when you began to totally love yourself? I thought we were friends. Did you think so, too? But I was more of a friend to you then you were to me. You may laugh at that and you may smirk to yourself because it would seem as if someone has lost her insanity. But all of this is not insane, nor is it a joke. This is our life. You may as well give me the benefit of the doubt and listen to what I have to say in return for the 5 years you took away from me. You owe me that much. I owe you nothing.

Sincerely, the girl who will never look you in the eyes again -