I had awful nightmares last night. I dreamt that there were snakes in bed with me and they were coming for my soul, winding their long sinewy bodies towards me. I woke up in a panic and jumped out of the bed, running for the door. Once I realized I was merely dreaming, my heart slowly worked its way back down my throat. I turned the light on and saw: no snakes. It took me a few minutes to get rid of the creepiness that lingered on my soul, but it eventually started to fade, and I crawled back into bed and turned the light off.

I never had nightmares when I was with you. You somehow made all the nightmares go away. And the times when I would wake up in tears, or just start to get sad, you would always hold my hand and offer me smiles and comfort and love. I miss that more than you could ever understand.

I think the hardest thing about moving away up to Reading was that I had to sleep alone. I'm still not used to it, and I'm not used to making weekend visits home and sleeping alone in the bed at my mom's house rather than sleeping with you in yours.

But I know you aren't sleeping alone. That crushes me. I know you wake up to the sun each morning and I sleep alone and wake up in the dark.

I always thought we were going to get married. The way you looked at me that one night in the diner when you told me you thought we were the same person…I thought I knew it. I thought I saw my destiny in your eyes. I even wrote a poem about that very moment, the way you looked into my eyes. But all of that is over now. Holding hands, kisses goodnight, one last look at the stars. All dead, like the dreams we once had.

And like our love.

And yet I still remain

Your Babydoll,