It's been almost six years since the incident, yet I still can't get over this hurt that you have caused me. I feel the need to let you know exactly what you have done to make me this person that I am today. I bet you didn't realize what kind of power you had to change a life. Too bad you did it the wrong way.

I hate you for making me this broken person and for the ten minutes it took you to destroy a life. And I hate you for the broken memories of those ten minutes in which you mangled my body like it wasn't worth anything, like something to be touched, played with, VIOLATED. And I hate you for giving me supressed memory of yesterday that still haunts me today six years later when I should be the happiest girl alive. I hate you for making me use myself just to feel loved, cared about, beautiful. I hate you for every kiss that's come along and meant nothing and for every drunken moment (and there have been many).... for every time I have refused to see myself as a person, hurting those who love me, even thought it's hard for me to love them.

And I blame you for this emptiness within me, for this terrible void I live everyday, for my lost and lonely heart, for my sad eyes that lost their twinkle, for every single tear I've shed, and every smile I've faked, and for every time I've simply said, "I'm OK, I don't need you."

And I blame you for pushing everyone I love further from me, when all they did was attempt to understand a fraction of the loss and loneliness in my heart. And I hate you for ten long minutes of sick and demented what you called passion, while I lay there screaming silently not knowing what to do as you moved your hands all over me. And the many tears I shed that you ignored as you told me to shut up - what you were dong was fine. So many years forgotten and lost living in the haunting silence of ten minutes in which you felt the need to destroy a life.

Thank you Steve for fucking up my life royally because I just can't seem to be happy anymore. No matter how hard I try to be me, I just can't remember who that is anymore, because you took that away from me. Do you know that I haven't had a healthy experiece of love or sex since then. I guess you could say that I probably never will because you took away all trust I will ever have. I guess it's hard for me to think that I will ever find love because I have not a clue what the hell that is anymore.

You're a fucking asshole. I swear I better never run in to you ever again because I will fuck you up like you can't even imagine. Revenge is sweet, but there is nothing I could do to you to even come close to the way you fucked me up. Just wanted you to know... so there.