You're a million miles away, but I can feel you close in my heart.

Why did you have to meet me so late in our lives? Why couldn't we have been born in the same town, gone to the same college, *something* to get us together sooner than when we were both married to other people?

It will be the sorrow of my life that we couldn't hook up in this life. I believe in the possibility of a future life just because it seems so wildly unfair to have met you only to be able to love you from afar.

Maybe in our last lives, we were a scorching couple, but we never truly established our friendship like we should have. So this life is designed to teach us about that friendship, to show us how it feels. Maybe, just maybe, in our next lives we can have both: the friendship and the passion.

It just hurts me and tears me to the bone to think that you're out there, my soulmate, the one I should be with more than any other, yet I can't have you. I want to scream at the universe for giving me the awareness of what happiness would feel like and then taking it away from me before I can even truly experience it.

I search myself and everyone to see where we went wrong….That's not really it, I search myself and everyone to see how we would work if we were together, instead of apart. Every time I find a new friend, I test them in a thousand little ways to see how much they are like you, to see how they measure up to you. I compare my husband to our fictional relationship, and he always suffers by comparison (imagine that).

I feel empty from the not having of you. I feel desolated by your continued, obstinate absence in my life. I feel rage that you should choose to do the grown-up thing and stay with your wife. How dare you choose her over me, your soulmate?

No one left to finger, no one here to blame.

Love,