There have been things I've been needing to tell you. And it's not easy for me, because I want things to work between us more than anything. I feel this drive within me, this ultimate goal to be with you physically. To feel your hair tangled, wrapped around my fingers, to feel your hand in mine, to feel your gaze on me. I have all these images in my head, about the places we can go, and the plans we could have.

And we've never even met face to face.

And even though this is the case, I feel so much for you. I feel everything I have ever wanted to feel for a single person. I feel patience, and understanding, and I have such a rich feeling in my life. I feel a passion for you, in a completely romantic and artistic way. I want to share my life with you.

The need I feel for you to be in my physical life is extremely intense. I want to share every detail of my of routine with you. I want to fold laundry with you, brush my teeth by your side, eat strawberries and kiwi fruit with you.

I want a life with you, minus the carbonation.

The experiences we've had have been direct, compassionate, and blissful. I want so much more with you. I want to walk to the post office with you, I want to paint with you.

But there's a problem, and I've brought it on myself. And all the things we've said, our honest nature towards each other makes this a million times harder.

I cannot promise you our future. I cannot promise you the summer together. I'm making a huge mistake by telling you this...

So I won't.

I don't want to lose you.

Please forgive me,