Is three years really that large of an age gap? We share the same genes, the same house, the same closed-minded little world, yet I cannot understand you -- I don't know why you're doing this.

You knew that she'd come looking for you again, didn't you? You knew that she'd ask me to stay at home, waiting by the phone. You knew that it would hurt her. How does it feel, how does it feel to kick your own mother in the face?

So maybe she yelled at you, so maybe you were mad. What are you going to do out there, anyway, all alone? Do you really think you'll stay, that you won't come running back? I know you will, and she knows you will, but the worry doesn't recede, it still bubbles, slowly.

The phone rings, and I know that if she were here she would have jumped. Flames of hope would have leapt to her eyes, her feet would have rushed to the phone. I know that if she had been here, her world would have come crashing down at the sound of the voice on the phone that wasn't yours. Do you have any idea how I feel, standing there with her lying in pieces on the floor, trying not to step on her, trying to piece her back together?

Suddenly, it all comes back to me, the memories of times before. All those years ago, waiting, stirring a cold pot of spaghetti. You ran, and everyone searched, and the darkness fell. I could taste her fear then, it slithered, hidden beneath the tension in the air. The tension lay dormant, while the fear, her fear, grew and twisted and escalated until all I had left inside of me was screams. I remember it all.

Don't try to lie to me anymore, I can see through it all. I've known you for too long; I'm too jaded to believe it. She loves you, needs you, and you know it. You knew it the other times, you knew it two hours ago, and you know it now. Maybe she and I are closer than you and her will ever be, but you can't ever say that you've been left out, you've never been treated unfairly.

And you return, as I know you would have, and you stand before her, ready for your judgement. You whisper through your tears, you're sorry, and I know that I'll forgive you, I always will. It hurts so badly, but I'll forgive, because I do love you. I do care. You'll always be the one I need to protect.

--Sarah.