19 October, 1999
Sweet Nadie,
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Remember me?
I was the one who let you be afraid.
I stood behind you
and told you to fall into my shadow
arms out, head back, eyes closed. And you did
overandoverandover. I've written this letter too many times
but blood doesn't show up so well on the heart, I guess.
Nadie, I let you down. You smiled from behind hair,
laughing with those eyes
that saw a ring of gold around my blackness
stretched out your hand,
and touched only a silhouette --
half of what I could have been;
so much less than what you understood. I am gone from you now
and I still can believe that you sing
with the curtains open
and the light streaming through.
I can still believe
that you seek
all those things that opened your hands and your heart to me. Do you remember
when we walked through the woods and danced lonely in dimly lit clubs and drove into the night like stars? Quiet, but with so much song I whisper your name
and mine too.... I think about your circles,
your songs,
and my black-eyed shadows. Step out into the night, Nadie,
and look up at the sky.
*Cc
