Just as I begin most of my letters, I'm not sure why I'm writing, I'm not sure where this will go, only the great Hoo-Hoo in the sky (whomever that may be) knows why the hell I'm going to write this letter you'll probably find while surfing the web one night and when you read this and you may get a whole lot out of this...hopefully positive. It's all in how you perceive it right? Meanwhile, I'm just setting myself up to embarrass the hell out of myself. Cheers to both of us.

You do not know how many times I have typed an email to you and had the mouse pointer on send, and erased at the last minute. I guess it is a whole humility issue. I was never into totally complimenting a person in a letter and spilling my guts and actually sending it. Though I'm not exactly sending this to you, per se, but I'm sure you'll come across it. I don't believe in fate, but sometimes things are just too ironic to blame on coincidence.

Anyway.

I guess I might as well come right out and say it. You are the most wonderful person in the world. You have saved me a thousand times over, and I cannot thank you enough. You've taught me how to deal with the stress of every day life, you've helped me through everything from anxiety attacks to how to "fake it until you make it". Hell you saved my ass from suicide.

You are a genuine person who strives to help people. You're real. You're daring. You're funny. I'm proud to be your niece. I've gotten to know you pretty well these past few months. And as shitty as some things have been for me (and for you too), I wouldn't take a second of it back because I know you and have had the opportunity to do a lot of things I'm sure I wouldn't have done without the help of you. One of these things was standing up to my father. I really respect you because you are such a wonderful, powerful, real person. I'm sure I've already said all of that but I can't stress it enough. I love the person you are. I admire the person you are.

Maybe everyone else thinks your ideas are weird. Maybe everyone else think you've got a few screws loose. Maybe everyone else thinks that it is wrong to talk about how you feel, to have deep conversations, to have "psychological" talks, as Lindsay would call it. But you know what? I look forward to those. Then again, I'm certainly not "everyone else" by no means.

I just wanted to write and tell you how great I think you are and how much I admire you.

Love always,

Nicole