You know who you are. You better know exactly who I am and what you have
done to me.
Last year, you took away the best part of me. The part that I was holding
for someone important and special, the part of me that I only wanted to give
to my lover. You were not that man. You never were, you had a girlfriend.
What made you think that you could lay me down and fuck me? What made you
think that I wanted your mass on top of me? I was crying, I can still hear
myself pleading, listening to the rain outside, listening for some sign that
you were done with me. Just listening. I did not want to hear you telling me
how I wanted it, how I was begging for it-- because if I was, I would have
enjoyed my first experience. You robbed me of my innocence and purity. I feel
so low about myself sometime that I could throw up. I can't stand to look at
myself and then think of you. YOU disgust me. Just the thought of you makes
my eyes swell up in tears and I hate that you have that kind of a hold on my
life. I have sat for hours and cried about what happened between us. I have
choked on my tears when I didn't have anymore to cry. I am angry. I am
confused. I am not myself anymore. I cannot hold a relationship because of
you. You are such a prick, you go on with life like I was just another one of
your fucks, well I am not. I was never that. And somehow, you call me out of
the blue and remind me of the day that we had sex. Or should I say, you had
sex with me? You are a sick fuck. I can't believe that I even gave you the
time of day. I can't believe that I allowed you even remotely near me. I was
so naive, so pure, and sweet.
Now, I am at college, I am second guessing myself and my relationships.
Everyone knows that there is a dark mystery behind my eyes, but I refuse to
tell. The memory of you only makes me feel lower than I already do. I just
wanted to let you know that I am trying my best to get you and this past
thing out of my head. You do not deserve my time, or my heartache, my tears,
or my precious time. You are disgusting.
-You better know who-
(or you are that much less of a human)
