I can't for the life of me imagine why I'm even thinking of writing this letter. But such is life, right? You made an impact on mine and however you behave now, however much you want to make yourself look like an ass, you will always be a part of me.

Forget the fact that you are married. Forget the fact that I became involved with you against my better judgment. Forget the fact that my family and friends said I was doing something wrong. And most of all, forget that I am now involved with someone who really cares about me and places me first above all else in his life. Because even without all these things, our relationship was wrong, Al. I just wish you would be a man and accept that one single fact. And I am gone, Al. And when I say gone, I mean forever.

You made an obligation to your wife when you said "I do" all those years ago. But I naively forgot the importance of marriage and family. You told me to think of your children as your own, and at the time nothing made me happier than to hear those words. I never thought I was worthwhile before I met you. And when I did, you gave me the illusion of worthiness for a very short period. I realize now that you were preying on my own vulnerabilities and wanted an escape from you own life, the life you promised to yourself and your wife long ago.

Al, I will not be the other woman. You don't need that. And neither do your children. I cannot be your safety net any longer. If you choose to tell your wife the truth about us, that's fine. If you choose to keep us a secret, that's fine too. But your desperation in trying to get back to me through my friends and family is not helping you. All your e-mails, all your phone calls, just make you look like a big jerk. Trying to lay a guilt trip on me, trying to get me back like that, does not make me want to feel closer to you. It only makes stronger my convictions that it was a mistake to get involved with you in the first place.

One thing I am thankful for, Al. You made me realize that I COULD be worthwhile to someone. I wasn't to you, I know that now. But you said a long time ago to me that whatever happened, you wanted me to be happy. With the spark you awakened in me, I have indeed learned to be truly happy now. And although I will never forget that small favor you did for me, you no longer fit into my life. Please accept that we were wrong and will never see each other again. I have my own life to live now, without you in it.

Goodbye,

Joan