Its been a summer. A summer since I last saw you that night....The night I cried myself to sleep because I knew you didn't love me. We were together all night...Both of us silently pondering if this would be the last time. It wasn't the last time...But for me. It was. It was the last time that we could be together like we were. Like we were before you left us, before you left me. Like we were before her.

I saw you tonight, I looked at you across the room, clouded with haze and I smiled, and you turned away and avoided my gaze. You were having fun..without me...and you didn't want to think about how you had hurt me. My smile slowly slid of my face...and so did the tears....But I sucked it up...and I went back to the people I knew loved me...and I had a good time...without you. I glanced at you tonight...after she left...after he left..after they left. And I noticed that you where alone...And you didn't look as happy as you always had. You didn't have that sparkle in your eye. And while I was looking at you...You looked at me...and a tear slid down your face... And another.. and one more. And I saw that you were alone. And that hurt me and I wanted so badly to go to you, and help you, and care for you again...and have you care for me again. And you wanted me there to, but I cant just be there when your alone..and when they leave you.

So I sucked it up once again..and I turned..and I avoided your gaze..and I cried...I cried for all the times I hurt you..all the times you hurt me...and all the people that have hurt... And I can only imagine..What the two of us must have looked liked to someone who didn't know.. Both of us...crying...and crying because we needed each other...But not going to each other..because you are you...and I am me...and you and I...cant be us.

So..The next time we glance at each other across a hazy room or a crowded hall way...avoid my gaze..and suck it up...because my tears aren't for you anymore...

With my last tears,

~My