So.There

Don't lie to me. Good, even great relationship. You make me tell you everything, show you everything, I don't understand how you could have kept that from me. You let me become so dependent on you, I need you now. I need you. You gave me no warning, until now? Until it's all done? You could move at any time? You could leave? How long has this been an issue? 6th grade you said the possibility first arose? It's always been there, through our whole friendship and you never told me straight out the whole truth? How could you? You called me a hypocrite, and made me talk to you through my tears and you wouldn't even tell me you might just move out of the state if your dad gets pushed a little too far? It's easy for a dad to quit his job, hon, I know that. I really do. My dad did it. It's a big possibility. How could you not tell me? You promised me you'd never abandon me, you promised dammit. And now what? What if you move? That's not abandonment? I'm so angry, but I hate being angry at you, and I hate when I know you should apologize and then when you do I tell you not to because I want you not to have to. I want you to be perfect and to never hurt me so a lot of the time I pretend you never do, and I tell you you don't. And it works. But it hasn't been like this... I don't know. I'm mad and when I think about it I start getting snippy and then I feel bad. I love you. I just don't... I don't know.

I'm sorry though. I am. Because I'm angry, and I know that you are sorry and you hate that you didn't tell me as much as I hate it. I'm getting less angry I am. But you are my only friend. I isolated myself, and you got through every wall I tried to build and you held me. As I hit you and pulled away you held on tighter, and you made me listen. You told me you loved me, you'd always be there, and I believed you. So when that got threatened I got scared. And I'm sorry. But with out you, I'm all alone. Truly. I hate those girls, with their cruelty and stupid book. I got them out of my life, for the most part. And I was alone. And if you leave, I'll be alone again. I don't do good alone...

I love you. I love you so wholly and innocently. I don't know what I'd do without you. But I don't have any romantic feelings. And I love it. Because you have no romantic feelings for me. Though you'll hold my hand if I'm sad, and it makes me happy, my we are weird. It's okay though. Weird is good. It's to be embraced. The hardest part though... is when you go off with them... the rest of the class. They're your friends though so I understand it, I even encourage it... I just... am alone when you do that. And I don't know... But it's okay dear. Continue as you are. It's good for you. And I only want what's best for you. And now, with love, I wish you an amazing life, and I hope to remain a part of it.